my soul forever sings my song.
2010 July 29 § 2 Comments
But I’m going to sing
For this song
And for the amount of tears and pain I went through
Kim Yeo Hee, “My Music”
Whenever I am going through a hard time in my life, I block out the sounds of the world and fill my mind and my heart with music.
What is it about music – piano harmonies and guitar riffs, a soulful croon or an angry scream – that calms the heart so much?
There are moments of my life when I have an object to remember by. A ribbon, a clay Pokemon, or a photo with worn edges. Being a writer, I have always assumed that I would remember my life through words, but I am surprisingly inadequate at expressing many of the human being’s deepest emotions. The mystery of the human heart, and the human mind, is not something I know how to craft with mere words, as much as I claim to be a writer. I keep no diaries to remember family trips or vacations; I don’t have journals that store my memories of painful times and happy times.
But I remember the music that spilled from my fingers when I cried in agony, making a choice that has shaped the last five years of my life. I know the songs that I play in the car when I drive on a bright summer day, happy and free; I sing the songs that shape my feelings and my world, or hum tunes that don’t exist to express what I can’t find the words to describe.
I have friends who trace the paths of their life through pictures. Friends who trace the paths of their life through poetry, through song lyrics.
The language of my soul and of my life has ever remained music. As much as I treasure words for what they have given me as a path of expression, it is music that I use to express all of the emotions, the revelations, and the intagibilities of my heart.